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Dear Gmail,
May I just say, what the fuck? Where are my themes? Please pardon my french, but come on... all my friends are swimming in the cool clear water of your fancy little themes (which, I "suggested" to you earlier this year, by the way--this is true--the reason being I wanted my gmail to be able to look like outlook express so it would look like I was doing work instead of chatting with my buddies), and here I am... neglected... forgotten... out of touch.
Why can't I see where the sun and the moon are? Why can't I brag about being "shiny," whatever that means? Why can't I get a glimpse of purple mountains majesties?
I have used you for YEARS! I'm pretty darn sure I was one of the first 100 invited (maybe a bit of a stretch, but this is an angry letter, and people can get irrational when emotions are involved, and GMAIL LET ME TELL YOU, EMOTIONS ARE INVOLVED!!), and I have been a part of an email chain with you since gmail began. Several of my statuses on facebook and gmail can remember being: G-chat is better than facechat. You have been the subject of countless conversations, both platonic AND romantic. I am on you close to 18 hours/day, and THIS IS THE RESPECT I GET.
I thought better of you Gmail. I truly truly did. Next time you want something from me, I want you to remember: whom did you keep waiting in the frozen rain? Whom did you leave in the desert to dry? Whom did you stab repeatedly in the lungs?
It was Amy Vorpahl. Me. Or you may know me as amyvorpahl@gmail.com
P.S. G-MAIL? MORE LIKE G-GAY-L |
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I would pay the money it costs for an entire 1/2 gallon of ice cream just to be able to eat the ice cream that sticks to the underside of the lid when you peel it off for the first time. |
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Imagine, if you will, a phone call between a mom and her beautiful, talented daughter.
Mom: you're eating something
Amy: hehe
Mom: what?
Amy: nothing
Mom: that means it's something bad like ice cream or something
Amy: not ice cream
Mom: candy
Amy: maybe
Mom: AMY! Come on! You can do better than that! You don't need that! What are you thinking?
Amy: it's a Mounds bar
Mom: OH! You're eating a Mounds bar?
Amy: yea?
Mom: that's not candy. that's chocolate. that's ok.
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Sung to the tune of the Birthday Song... I think the scansion works out.
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to me-ee
Happy Birthday to you
I'm gonna record it over karaoke and make a music video. thoughts? |
| » It's Becoming Part of My Vernacular |
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"Oh yea! We're facebook friends!"
I AM one of those people who will search for you after I met you once and add you as my friend. I DO compulsively check "Find Friends" or "Discover People You May Know." I DO look for your gchat/AIM/yahoo messenger name to chat with you throughout the day. If you have none listed, I WILL face-chat you. I DO go through your pictures. I WILL tag myself in your pictures if you don't know who I am yet. I DO use party picture tags to add you as a friend. I WILL bring facebook or conversations we've had online up in real life conversation... and I WILL compare the online you to the real life you. I DO click "Home" every 3-5 minutes to see who has updated their status in that time. I WILL comment on your status. I DO find it very difficult to deny friend requests. I DO have about 100 Friends Online at any given time during the day.
So there.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 @ 08:41 am
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| » Questions |
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A man approached me as I was walking to work today. He was clearly crazy, just from looking at him. I tried to avoid him, but we were both crossing the street at the same time and had to wait for the walk sign to turn on together. The questions were presented to me in this order:
"ARE YOU AN ANGEL?!" to which I shook my head.
"DO YOU WATCH PLASMA TV?!" again, nope.
and then a very quiet "do you love me?" I actually thought about this one before shaking my head. No, I wasn't "in" love with him, but did he mean that? Couldn't he have meant brotherhood of man type love? Did I love him brotherly as one of Christ's children? I still wound up shaking my head and bolting across the street. At least I stopped to think though.
Oct. 1st, 2008 @ 08:29 am
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| » Have a little faith in me |
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Late at night
Current mood:  busy Dear Blog,
Man, tonight it is so tough for me to go to sleep. I feel like I haven't been able to slow down in forever. I actually didn't have rehearsal tonight for once, and I planned to go to IKEA to get some stuff so that when my bed comes in (tomorrow), my room will actually look like a room. I actually did have some time to just chill in the car, but when my mind is able to slow down a bit, I imagine the worst possible scenarios that could happen, not even to me but to people around me, too, especially people I care about and love. So, I hope I won't have too much down time in the near future. Having time to think is clearly a bad thing.
LA is shaping up to be quite a town for me. The main places that I see are work and home and Debbie's house for rehearsal, but every once in awhile, I pop into a new place that I really like, like the restaurant that I took Anna to the other day. Damn, that was good, AND they had gelato which is like ice cream, which I never had before, but which is just as good as ice cream, which is my all time favorite food.
I am trying to relax in this city so that I don't have to try so hard, but it's so hard not to try hard when you know it's a dog-eat-dog world. One day maybe I'll chill out. I feel like I was forced to relax this past week because it really was very busy and if I stressed out about every little thing, I'd probably have killed myself.
I really wish people would stop offering me their advice. Don't they know that no matter what they say, I'll figure it out by myself, with or without them. I know what I want, and I'm going about it the only way that I can right now. If I try to explain it, it only confuses people and they start saying stupid cliches to me that really don't help at all. I am doing my best, and that's really all that I can do. I wish things didn't make me hurt so easily. I wish I wasn't as sensitive.
I got a very nice card in the mail that gave me a lot of hope. One thing I'm learning is that even if there is a whole bunch of negative being thrown at you, if there's one word in the day that you hear and it's positive, you've got to cling to that with your life. It's so easy to get swallowed up in negativity. man, you could toooootally drown yourself.
I'm putting together a mailing to go out to casting directors for the play I'm in- everyone should come see it- go to www.grandguignolers.com. it's going to be hip as shit. Eye-gouging and acid pouring and all kinds of crazy hoo-ha!
Life's full of bad decisions and mistakes, and I'm making tons of those, but at least I'm learning from them. One day, I'll have made all the bad decisions and mistakes in the world, and I won't do them anymore- there won't be any left. Right now, there are thousands to be made though, but with every bad decision I make, I get closer to using them all up, right?
I can't wait to meet EVERYBODY in this city. I really think all people are good, and there should just be more love spread around. I told one of my friends how much I valued her the other day, and I truly meant it, and it made me feel good to say it and it made her feel good to hear it.
I write letters at work every day, kind of like a journal, but just like I'm talking and going on a stream of consciousness. I've read back through the letters and they're pretty boring, but maybe they'll be interesting when May 2007 seems like a really really long time ago. Or maybe I'll just delete them. In the end, it's really just therapeutic for me. I highly recommend that people write. What a great skill to be able to create something so meaningful based on letters and symbols that our gorilla ancestors made up years and years ago. I'm going to go back to working on those godforsaken packets now. Maybe I'll get to sleep at reasonable hour. My big full-size bed gets here tomorrow. It will be the biggest bed I've ever officially owned.
What I want: to learn LA like the back of my -- WHAT'S THAT?! and for people to have a little faith in me. :)
May. 19th, 2007 @ 12:15 am
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| » curveball magic |
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well, I was completely thrown for a loop this past weekend.
I admitted that I believed in miracles, but I didn't even realize a miracle happened until he left. I am in something new that can only be described as the magic that fairy tales are made of, so all of my writer friends should write this shit down.
Also, drunky mcdrunkerson yours truly had a vodka night this past Friday that entailed wearing Chase McCurdy's pants, kissing EVERYONE, and passing the fuck out. Happy Halloween.
Also, unicycles.
Oct. 30th, 2006 @ 07:51 pm
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| » Passport |
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I went to the Post Office and applied for my passport today. I brought everything I needed including the passport pictures I had taken two summers ago when I thought I was going to Italy (never wound up going). The dude refused my pictures. He said they were too washed out, but he could give me a form to get a refund and we could take new pictures now. I agreed to the new pictures but told him that I took those pictures quite awhile ago and probably couldn't get a refund. He said that he thinks I could, and how long ago did I get them? O, more than a month... He said that wasn't a problem and he started pulling out a form. I said, "and by more than a month, I mean over two years." And that was the end of that. But I did get some killin passport photos with my new haircut!
Jonathan Contreras, after watching Great Expectations, looked at his program that said "Your Passport to Entertainment" and said, "Finally, I can stay in the country."
On Cash Cab, a man had to use a shoutout to answer the question "What was the pig's name in Charlotte's Web?" He called his ex-wife. She gave him the answer: Horatio. Foolish foolish man. She's already sleeping with her coworker and bridge buddy. She has no time for your shenanigans, whether or not it concerns famous childhood heroes like pigs and bugs, bitchy princes of Denmark and company, and especially her own child's father. Bitch.
Nobody loves you when you're down and out.
But when you get back on your feet again, everybody wants to be your long lost friend.
Sep. 26th, 2006 @ 08:35 pm
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| » Weather |
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Damn, the weather feels nice tonight. It makes me feel so happy. You just don't get weather like this all of the time.
P90X is going well for me- killer yoga tomorrow blech. So is taking it easy this semester. I spoke with my sister Angela today and helped her analyze a sonnet- it surprised her how clearly I understood Shakespeare, which surprised me because I thought I was low on the understanding The Bard scale. Ithink I definitely took sophomore year for granted.
I get to go home in two weeks! I'll be able to see my family, and then we're taking a trip to Austin to see Angela's game and take her to dinner. I don't think I'll be able to see other Austinites though *tear*
Amanda's birthday was Friday; she shares it with Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. I called and left a message on our answering machine, calling her the appropriate "Fart for Brains" instead of her name, like you do.
I made some killin' trail mix today, complete with nuts, dried fruit, chocolate chips, coconut shavings, cereal, and marshmallows. Not exactly healthy, but healthier than you'd think (better than those protein bars I was eating)
This is a pointless post, I just felt like posting.
Sep. 24th, 2006 @ 07:29 pm
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| » Trevin Cooper |
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I'm reading this book called Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans, edited by such famed comedic authors as Dave Eggers, Kevin Shay, Lee Epstein, John Warner, Suzanne Kleid. Basically, these geniuses have pieced together The Best of McSweeney's (Humor Category) into a brilliant book, Published by Alfred A. Knopf: New York, 2004. I highly recommend it to everyone.
Here's an article that reminded me of Trevin Cooper (especially the fourth one) and Brent Black (especially the last one, except maybe Fetus! might be closer)
ACTUAL ACADEMIC JOURNALS WHICH COULD BE BROADWAY SHOWS IF THEY HAD EXCLAMATION POINTS ADDED!
T.G. Gibbon
Callaloo!
The Henry James Review!
Plainsong and Medieval Music!
The Lion and the Unicorn!
Modernism/Modernity!
RNA!
Organised Sound!
Field Mycologist!
Winterthur Portfolio!
ReCALL!
Continuity and Change!
The American Naturalist!
Wide Angle!
Radical History Review!
Modern Philology!
Popular Music!
Robotica!
Clinical Infectious Diseases!
The New Phytologist!
Yale Journal of Criticism!
Zygote!
Sep. 20th, 2006 @ 09:31 am
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| » Grocery Store |
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I fucking love the grocery store. I go there too often. I think I'm addicted to looking at food (and eating it, but mostly looking at it). In fantasy novels when they describe the giginormous feasts, I'll read through those paragraphs over and over again and try to figure out if I could ever make any of it. I also love reading diet books because damn! The Combinations Those People Come Up With!
Grilled chicken with black beans, mozzarella cheese, your favorite salsa, and lettuce all wrapped in a thick juicy tortilla!
Oatmeal cooked with brown sugar then topped off with warmed vanilla yogurt, thinly sliced bananas and almonds, smothered with honey.
A pita filled with deli turkey, hummus, mustard, alfalfa sprouts, and black olives.
A smoothie with milk, a banana, some peanut butter, chocolate syrup, vanilla extract, oatmeal, flaxseed, some protein mix, and ice.
I need to be on that diet. Now.
In other news: I've pretty much changed my lifestyle finally. I get up at 5:30AM, work out to Turbo Jam for about 50-80 minutes, take a shower, prepare all the food I'll eat during the day (sometimes it's the stuff I listed up there), listen to music and read while I eat my breakfast, and walk to work to get there at 8:30. I love beginning my day like that.
For the next three months, the only alcohol I'll drink is red wine.
I am intensely allergic to cigarette smoke which sucks.
I can't wait to leave Norman, and I think I'm staying aloof because I don't want to get too attatched to anyone before I leave.
I'm going to dye my hair brown either tonight or tomorrow night (permanently!)
My little sister Amanda is on myspace and I think her profile is hilarious! Mainly because she's my little sister and her quote is "I have a problem with you like I have a problem with milk," her song is a booty-shakin Shakira song, and her job is apparently "beautilicious." Damn, I love that girl.
I saw Angela play a volleyball game in Edmond- this was only the second time that I"ve gotten to see her play since I've been in college. She kicked ass, got some good hits in, and more than that, she saved a 6-inch Subway sandwich for me, which kicks MAJOR ass.
I'm keeping my promise to myself to try to stay open to new things and enjoy them rather than judge them, and it's working nicely.
I LOVE my roommates. Melanie likes doing Ab Jam, and that makes me feel proud.
First episode of "House" is on in 10 minutes- w00t!
I wish you love.
Sep. 5th, 2006 @ 06:36 pm
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| » Lincoln, Nebraska |
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Last week, Blaz Bush, Tom Huston Orr and I spent 7 days in Lincoln, NE or Lincoln, NA? I think I was right the first time, but I don't know. In any case, I wouldn't plan a trip to the Nebraskan capital, BUT as a recruiting place that we had to visit, it was not bad. In fact, it was much better than last year. I think I can attribute that mostly to the fact that both Blaz and I were 21 this year. Lincoln has a street called O Street that is comparable to Austin's famed 6th Street. Bars and clubs out the wazoo.
I don't want to talk about the days, but here's a picture to illustrate:
The nights were tons better. Here's a good story for ya:
Monday, Blaz and I wanted to go out, so hit up O Street, but there was no one out. I stop this guy who’s kinda cute, and very forwardly ask, “Is it always this dead Monday nights?” and he turned out to be really friendly and started talking to us about things. Anyway, turns out his name is Dirty Darren and he’s a stripper and barback (assistant to bartender). Well, he dabbled in stripping- he’s not currently, but he took us to his bar and bought us drinks and we met a few of his friends and partied it up Monday night. I've got a friend in Lincoln, David, whose birthday was Thursday, so we invited all of them to hang with us then, too. Everyone thought Blaz and I were together (married in fact) because that’s what Dirty Darren was telling them (why, I don’t know). I think it turned out to be a safe route, and it didn’t bother me; in fact it was very flattering- Blaz is one hot guy and if I score like that with my husband, I’ll consider myself lucky. That’s basically the most exciting thing that happened the whole week. Blaz and I getting married, that is (the last part was a joke) (no it wasn't). ha.
And here's one more picture just to put Lincoln in good standing with you.
Kind of random hip-ass architecture in the town on the way back to the hotel, but the fact that Lincoln has something like that should put you in a good mood.
Destination: Houston, TX.
Departure time: T minus 120 minutes.
Traveling Companion: One Jacqueline Vickery. I SEE YOU GIRL! SHAKIN' THAT THANG! we is gonna tear it up.
Jun. 30th, 2006 @ 03:33 pm
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| » Happy Father's Day, Dad |
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Why I love my dad:
1. He cries at every wedding, every time he hears the National Anthem, every time he watches Father of the Bride, and the first time he saw me in The Sound of Music as Maria.
2. He's got all the right answers. When I was trying to make some college decisions, I asked him late one night, "Dad, should I be an actress," and without hesitation, he said, "Yes."
3. He's a great role model for me and my friends. He takes a cooler of Shiners to any event that just maybe won't have beer (even if they have wine or some other alcoholic beverage).
4. He makes me feel that it's more than ok to let loose a huge belch. We respect each other that way.
5. He's got a baby face that I don't think will ever look old and a white man's fro.
6. He's the main source of fun at family gatherings. He plays campfire songs and everyone sings along for hours, he heads up poker every night, he makes the little babies cry until they kiss him, and he makes fun of any new love interest in the family until they feel at home.
7. My friends and I have on occasion drunk-dialed him, and he's totally cool with it. He buys beer for my friends and me when he visits and then drinks them under the table.
8. He makes me think. Usually by asking irritating and uncomfortable questions, but the more annoying the questions are, the smarter I have to be when I answer him...
9. He loves Mom.
10. He loves us, and I think we turned out alright... so far... I think, yes?
Anyway, he's a pretty swingin cat, and I love him.
Jun. 18th, 2006 @ 12:24 pm
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| » Bored at Work |
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I house-sat for Rena for a week. Her house is soooo nice, and I totally took advantage of her pool and jacuzzi and food in the fridge, among other things *wink*. I was really afraid of fucking something up though, and without a doubt, I sure did. Not too bad though. I closed a door too hard and a stained glass painting of a flower fell, but didn't break. Her husband said they've been dealing with that for years, so meh.
I saw Cars last night, and hoo baby it was money. I highly recommend it.
We had "nerd" night completely unplanned the other night. Kyle and Blaz and I all played Heroes V, and while we were waiting for our turn, we read fantasy novels.
Seems like everyone had something bad happen to them this week (minus me) and I've been the lone ranger at the Drama Office for a few days now. It's nice because I get to read my book, but MAN IS IT BORING!!!
I'm getting my hair cut today for OUR TRIP TO LINCOLN. Blaz Bush and I are going to recruit at the International Thespian Festival for A WEEK, and let me just say, both of us are 21 and that town will fucking remember us. I'm so excited- bars every every night, jazz in june, hotel pool (notice none of that says recruiting- we'll be doing that during the day when the parties are over- parties start when our booth closes, baby!). We're not going to see any of the shows or workshops either- this is our weeklong vacation, paid for in majority by our one and only School of Drama. *sigh* I love my job and my co-worker. As he says, "Amy, if you're not careful, we could become friends."
I just realized I've talked to my mom at least 3 times a day this summer. She's my best friend, I just didn't realize HOW best she was.
I got a new phone and recorded a new voicemail, so call me and listen to it! It kind of kicks a lot of ass.
Angela is in Nicaragua doing a variation of Peace Core stuff. She wants me to writer her long long letters so she doesn't get homesick. I definitely plan on doing that- I love her!
Amanda started lifeguarding today, and she's just 15! She was trippin, especially because the jackasses scheduled her from 10AM to 9PM. TOO LONG!!
The boys' car broke down 4 hours outside of their camp in Pennsylvania. The engine died and the mechanic said it wasn't worth it to get it fixed. They made it to the camp the next day after scoring a free hotel room, but now the question is how will they get back. Five bucks say they don't.
 
Jun. 16th, 2006 @ 03:37 pm
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| » Happy Birthday, Deuce |
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Today is my friend Dustin's birthday.
I will bake him a cake.
It will be yellow with brown icing that will taste chocolaty.
I will sprinkle it with sprinkles that will be colorful.
His favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.
For a present, I will buy lots of D batteries.
D is for Dustin and for D batteries and for DON'T ASK WHY.
The FedEx guy came into the office to pick up a package. I had placed a sticky note on the package that stated the pick-up number, "24." He took the package, took off the sticky note, handed it to me, smiled, winked and said, "For decoration." Anyway...
I made the boys two mix CDs for their trip. They had requested that all of their friends burn them some CDs, and I didn't think I had any songs they would like. Dustin told me, "Yea, none of that gay jazz crap." So I pulled some songs out from my childhood and came up with two CDs- one with songs about traveling and moving and the other with songs about their personalities. I'm pretty proud of the product.
My dad's advice to the boys: save the party for when you're not driving, hope you get to Austin sometime this millenium, and stay in between the ditches.
Rena Cook is a big deal. I don't know if you know this, but she is. People KNOW her.
Today, I get to buy myself a shirt because I achieved a goal.
Red wine is pretty damn good for you it turns out.
Jun. 8th, 2006 @ 04:36 pm
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| » It's not goodbye |
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Someone wise once told me, it's not goodbye, it's until next time. I've had to refer to that wisdom really often these past few weeks, and Friday won't be any easier.
I hung out with a new friend tonight, or rather, an old friend made new? I don't know, but it was fun.
I bought some tapioca from Wal-Mart- I haven't had that in forever; I wonder how that will taste...
I've got big hopes for the near future.
p.s. Our family is getting a free upgrade to all our phones, and I'm thinking I'll just upgrade to another Nokia, but there's also Sony and Motorola and a couple of other options... any suggestions?
Jun. 5th, 2006 @ 11:58 pm
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| » Spring Can Really Hang You Up the Most |
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My job really has some niiiiiiiiiiiiice perks. The people who walk into the office! ooowee baby! I can't wait to tell Blaz about this one hehe.
Some cat on the phone was talking to me and said, "And what's your name again? Dr. Amy... what?" I'm Awesome.
Quotes from last night:
"YOU THREW WALL?? IT WAS ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, AND YOU THREW WALL??"--Dustin
"You didn't size up your opponent!"--Dustin
"Well, she threw wall; I didn't think I needed to size up my opponent."--Nathan
"I'm going to file that under 'that never happened'"--Dustin
"You stab it, and when it starts healing, you stab it again."--Nathan
"The better looking Strange. No, I said the better looking Strange."--Brandon
"Cody wasn't very nice."--Brandon
"Probably because you texted him about not being able to talk because Dustin was here, and he thought you were a chick."--Dustin
"I asked you if you were going to try to portray at least some sense of sobriety."--Dustin
"Nope."--Brandon
Good News: Radu's cooking us steak dinners!
Jun. 2nd, 2006 @ 06:45 pm
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| » What's New |
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How is the world treating you?
You haven't changed a bit
Lovely as ever, I must admit
This past weekend, I played tons of D&D, and Azdeth is just about to rule the world!
I also babysat Tom's kids, and damn if they aren't the cutest things that ever walked the earth! Henry and I made batman rope, gun, utility belt, mask, helmet, and underwear out of paper that we colored black with sharpie or crayon while 8-month-old Harper babbled nearby. I can't wait to do that again!
Maciej called about 20 times asking what I recommended for his sinus problems because he trusts my crude pharmaceutical judgment more than what I actually recommended: to ask a pharmacist. Crazy Polish dude makes me chuckle.
10 days of good diet and exercise so far.
Almost finished updating the Drama Scrapbooks. Ahhh, there were some good shows last year, and some crappy ones( you know what I'm talking about), but good memories just the same.
Got Mary Kay facials with the girls last night, courtesy of one Carolyn "Livin' on the" Edge- she's awesome!
Mega going away party for my people this Friday. I'd like to give a huge shoutout to Jacqueline, Hilary, Nathan, Dustin and Brandon. I love you guys and I'll miss you like hell!
P.S. I should have bought a butt cushion for my bike long long ago.
P.P.S. Shadowfax is in someone else's unworthy criminal hands, but Hasufel bears me swiftly to work and back. I'll never forget Shadowfax, though.
P.P.P.S. I wish some things were easier. Things that started off so simple turn into bigger molehills, hurdles, traffic lights, etc. than they should. I still hope that all systems are go.
May. 31st, 2006 @ 07:49 pm
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poppinsmary's journal